I owe you a beer…

•January 5, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Hey there, how you doing?   It’s been kind of a long time yanno.   I haven’t done a post on here since Sept 12, 2008 where I basically tried to run you all off, and be like HEY!! look behind door number 2!!!   Because this door here isn’t really going to take you anywhere anymore.    Sure it took you a while, but so many of you finally got the hint and yanked us off the blogrolls, unsubscribed from your feeders, and over time…   the traffic has dried to trickle of what it once was.    Ironically though, we are still getting 50-60 people who hafta come by and just see if the lights are still off every single day.    Sure you got excuses like you are just linking to old content, or you found something about us on the forums.    There are still people out there trying to learn to text properly, or how to be a DJ… 

Well I am kinda bored, and I thought I would just drop in and say, “Hi!”   I still appreciate you keeping the candle burning bright, and who knows maybe some day on down the road, we might just decide to fire this bird up again, and see what happens.   For now though, I am still saying you really should try to embrace a little bit of change in your life.    I like to wear the same pair of shoes too yanno, just cuz they are pretty comfy, but then the other pairs just gather dust in the corner.

So come on, try the new pair on, and see what happens.   Join the party over at The Rev.   You can stand in the corner and eye the pretty girl you really want to slide your hand down that plunging neckline.   Besides, you can always refer back here for the pointers you need to land her for later.

Out of the Ashes…

•September 12, 2008 • 1 Comment

I love this blog!  I have always loved this blog!  I have loved writing on it, reading it, listening to each and every one of your comments (whether you got the joke or didn’t).   But like all good things, they must eventually come to an end.   *tear*

Basically, I am not able to produce enough content on my own these days to keep this baby rolling like I wanted to be able to do, so when I heard the Mean Girls were closing up shop and tossing around ideas for a new blog, I thought it would be fun to propose a merger of Mean Girls and Are We Not Men into one collective effort.   We then went after some additional talent and presto voila, a new blog is born that will bring you the best of MG and AWNM along with a lot of new flavor from seven really talented writers.   I present to you the Revolution.

Both Alex and I are making the jump over to the new blog, but unfortunately Wrath could not commit to writing a post every two weeks which is a requirement to blog on the new blog, so he is going to be cheering us on in the new venture.   I still hope at some point he comes on board.   I plan on getting back into a regular writing swing, so if you have enjoyed AWNM then please follow us over, and update your viewers and bloglines.   :)

I did want to take one final look back at some of my personal favorites from AWNM:

If you have been a fan and a loyal reader, then I sincerely thank you.   I have enjoyed the ride we have been on together, and look forward to an even wilder ride with Revolution.

Think you have what it takes?

•September 1, 2008 • 1 Comment

I smell change in the air.   This is a little like the calm before the storm.  Have you ever wanted to be a part of something much bigger than you?   Do you get bored with the status quo?  Can you write in an engaging manner?  I am offering you a chance to get in on the ground floor of greatness.  To write and rewrite our very history.   To stand up and be a voice that is heard amongst a sea of cattle just following the herd.   If I have sparked your interest, then good, if you want to take my hand and climb on board, then contact me for more info either in-world as Hawksrock Gunawan, via email at hawksrock_00@yahoo.com, or drop me a comment with your contact info and I will be in touch.   Be prepared to present a writing sample, and a strong point of view.  All genders accepted.

I’m hot shit!

•August 22, 2008 • 12 Comments

  • When I tp into a tringo event anywhere on the grid I hear a collective whine from everybody but the host, because I am probably the second best tipper out there.
  • I have the power to get any vehicle, weapon, or toy for free merely by mentioning that I wanna look at it. I could get clothes, but meh, I hate fashion blogging.
  • I once hosted a tringo event while having two girls dance on stripper poles in front of me (by their choice not mine), with two different girls in my IM window trying to start a cyber. (And this was before I bought my first skin.)
  • I bagged the hottest head Mean Girl anywhere on the grid, and moved her to my hometown so we can get the freak on morning, day, or night.
  • When I was blogging daily we were averaging 8k hits a week, which isn’t off the charts, but nothing to feel too shabby about.
  • I can rock the best 80′s and 90′s alternative set you have ever heard.
  • I’m huge in Russia, and growing in Portugal (okay that was a joke… but cracked me up.)
  • I FUCKING HATE when people brag about themselves in a public forum.

I am seeing a trend that is out there across blogs, plurk, and other forums that has always annoyed me, but seems to be a growing trend. People who like to tell the world what hot shit they are. Everybody has personal pet peeves, but this happens to be a hot one for me.

You know how I like groups so here ya go:

Timidly Ambitious: I just want to let all the thousands upon thousands of people who stop me EVERY day to tell me how cool my blog is or awesome my clothes are that I am really just an ordinary person, just like you who can’t help it that my IM’s are capped daily, and my personal assistant is too busy to pick up the slack and speak to you one on one, but I will beat that bitch into submission as soon as she brings me my coffee.

Look at Me’s: I was just totally shocked and flattered that I was listed as a distinguished blogger by so and so. I really can’t believe it, even though my picture was shown here or I was mentioned there and here and there and way way over there [complete with url links of course to each instance.]

Clingers to the past: Why of course I am a total SLebrity because back in 2007 I was mentioned in this, and covered by that, and everybody it seems was covering me across the grid!

ReaLLy big attention whores: It’s my birthday, so let’s have a birthday week, a birthday month, a birthday year in my honor because I LOVE LOVE *BUBBLE HEARTS* each and every one of you SOOOOO MUCH, that I want you to have the ability to worship me ALL year long. Oh and just so you know, the entire state of California dropped into the ocean, but MY GOD, I am OKAY, so you can sleep easy tonight.

I am all for calling out the fact you posted something, or talking about your life, but I can’t stand blatant self-promotion just for the sake of getting people to be like, awwww yes you are a total SLebrity and I love you mostest type comments or feedback!

Thanks! My name is HawksRock Gunawan, and I approve this message.

Worst kept secret… evah!

•July 20, 2008 • 15 Comments

Guys look at porn, and …. drumroll please….. *whispers* masturbate, beat off, buff the wood, bop the boa, answer the bone-a-phone, milk the chicken, crank the shank, doodle the noodle, firm your worm, five finger knuckle shuffle, grease the pipe, hone your bone, jimmy your joey, massage the muscle, Pat the Robertson (might go to hell for that one), polish the rocket, ram the ham, shake hands with the unemployed, spank the frank, tease the python, or whip the one eyed wonder weasel. :o :o :o So why is it that time after time I am always hearing stories of women across the nation being outraged that they “caught” their boyfriend doing it? And to make matters even worse, the guys deny doing it.

Well let’s start with a few basic ingredients:

1) Guys are wired different than gals, but neither side remembers that fact about 3/4 the time.

Think about what sort of evolutionary urges are driving each gender. For women, they need a guy who will be there to assist them with the raising of a child for a period of time, so they want a little more than just a hot bod to turn them on (unless they are drunk, which is an entirely different post.) They value a certain emotional intimacy to go along with the physical. For guys, it is all about spreading that seed as far and wide as you can in order to make your genes the dominant strand. If you have the traditional birthing ratio of breasts to hips to ass to legs to nice smile with all your teeth, then we can get it up and get it on. Oh I’m sorry, and your name was…?

2) Then along came Jesus in a baby carriage…

Enter in the fray a sense of morality and social norms, which try to control people’s natural urges. A lot of religions will beat you to a pulp over “impure thoughts” or actually enjoying sex with another person. Now all of a sudden you have a concept of guilt over even thinking a certain way, let alone acting out on them and going to hell. Sex is just a necessary evil to make more muppets.   Not under any circumstances should you practice your skill at impure thoughts and act out on it, just out of a sake of pleasure.

3) Introduce the internet, and the concept of porn at your fingertips 24/7.

There was a little more stigma associated with having to do a face to face interaction to request that latest squirter vid, or by having the mailman drop off your latest copy of World of Whorecraft for your viewing pleasure. But now all of a sudden anybody anywhere, can with relative anonymity check out whatever turns them on in the privacy of their own home, office, library, or coffeshop with free Wi-fi service.

So when you throw all this plus many more factors into the mix, what do you end up with? You end up with a guy who at some point in the early prepubescent period learned that his tool was for more than aiming at cheerios in the middle of a toilet bowl, and that he kinda liked hanging out with his new found friend, being brought up to think that this was wrong so he feels kinda guilty about it already.   However, he finds that his hormones and the new Samantha Fox poster he has hidden under his bed with her in lingerie while she sings to him about touching herself are enough to override any sense of wrong…. (errr wait that might have just been my experience.)  Anyway, through repeated trial and err along with devising ways of descrambling the cable channels (especially if you turn your head just a lil sideways), a guy learns the art of jacking off, and it makes him quite happy.

Now about this time (for most guys who don’t discover WoW til they are age 35), they end up dating real bonafide hot flesh and blood chicks and they get to discover the thrills of first, second, and third base which culminates in that bona fide grand slam!  They find that sex with a woman is even better than anything they had ever been able to pull off (no pun intended, well okay maybe a lil intended) on their own.   However, just because sex is better with a woman, does this mean they abandon masturbation altogether?   Ummmm, lemme think about that, HELL NO!!

So inevitably here is what is gonna happen.   The girlfriend is going to catch him with lotion and/or tubesock (if it is a no-show or crew sock, then I’m just sorry) in hand whacking off at his computer screen to some sort of internet porn.   The guy is going to feel guilt about it, and try to hide it or deny it altogether.   “No way, baby, I was just adjusting the goods, and got spammed with that crap on my screen.”  The woman is going to feel inadequate, and instantly think that she is not fulfilling one of his needs, or is unattractive etc.

So how do we solve this uncomfortable situation?

1) We just gotta accept the fact that it is normal/healthy to have a little solo time mixed into a healthy sexual relationship between two loving partners.

*Disclaimer:  I understand that some people take it too far, and become true cybersexual addicts who withdraw more and more from actual physical contact, as they get sucked into some sort of fantasy world.  They are not within the “normal” range and need to seek help.

2) Again, most guys are just more visually wired than women.  It helps to have some sort of porn or visual stimulation to assist with the process.   Whereas, women think it is fine to bob over and over and over because they are living out fantasies in their head with their partner only, they believe porn is wrong because it involves looking at women other than the partner.   For most guys the porn is just a way to release that part of their brain which turns them on quicker.

3) Guys just stop with the cover up and lying about it.   Be upfront about it, and don’t try to hide because she WILL catch you with your pants down.   Have a frank discussion about it, and if you find yourself preferring it over real sex, then you really do need to seek help.

4) Ladies, don’t take it as a personal affront.   It isn’t that something is lacking in you, it is just one more way we can bring pleasure into our lives.   By having open honest discussion around it, then both partners should be able to understand that it isn’t a replacement so much as an added feature.

Language of Love?

•July 13, 2008 • 12 Comments

So my last post inspired an idea in me that I wanted to blog. In this ever shrinking virtual world we live in it is not out of the question to find a couple who do not speak the same native language. In fact, with the assistance of technology it is possible to consider two people falling in love and getting it on through the magic of translation HUD’s. With that idea in mind, I decided to try an experiment in which I wrote up a quickie little sex scene and then threw it into one online site to translate from English to Spanish and then a different site to translate the same text back from Spanish to English.

I present to you…

Hot sex translation style:

Don Juan: Its skirt slides to the hand above to feel soothes smooth of its average ones as I caress to him with caution.

Ivana Hump: ooooo, lalalala

Don Juan: It deeply inhales the scent of his perfume, as I caress with the nose the neck.

Ivana Hump: It reaches the hand downwards and it undoes his cattle tenders who feel that its ascent of the hardness arrives to find the hand.

Don Juan: It raises his blouse to undo slowly as I kiss the navel and to mordiscar my way until the ample chests that put the lips in their nipple that feels that it grows estranged in my mouth.

Ivana Hump: it downwards works my averages with my foot, when sliding the thighs by the leg and jadeando with the anticipation like you ronza in my pezóns

Don Juan: it dismisses the legs as the wild seas and sends deep in you with long hard pushes

Ivana Hump: The moaned ones with the satisfaction like I begin to feel like my culminating point that constructs to the grain where I will explode.

Don Juan: He slaps his ass hard because it continues to strike coño with the long hard pushes that its humidity feels that it spends between the legs and it begs to him for more.

Ivana Hump: The whines with the liberation as I outside shout his name and my body are destroyed with twisting the orgasmos and I shiver of feet to head.

Don Juan: I expound deep in you cumming hard like I loosen my deep load within coño

Ivana Hump: he throws to him downwards it last upon me jadeando and having tightened to him

Don Juan: the rolls on jumps above and run in the kitchen to obtain a beer

No hablo, Russki. Merci beaucoup.

•July 10, 2008 • 6 Comments

I am at times amazed at how small our virtual secondworld is. Every once in a while a post I write will be picked up by different bloggers in different countries obviously speaking different languages. Most are courteous enough to link back to the original content, which then allows me to backtrack the link to see what sort of activity is going on out there in distant foreign lands.

The issue I have is that I am anglo-American, and therefore language challenged. You see for anglo-Americans there is really only one language that we read and write – English, because we are just THAT cocky to force everybody else who wants to interact with us to learn our language. Thank the powers that be for free internet translators. I mean who doesn’t love a literal translation by a computer?

It isn’t always as easy as it sounds though, because as an American we only really recognize three languages other than English to exist on the planet. Those are Spanish, Chinese, and Russian. Sure we have some sort of vague idea of their being other things like French, Dutch, Japanese, Italian, etc… but we are too egocentric to tell the difference. You see if it looks like we can pronounce it and is remotely related to Romance languages, then it HAS to be Spanish so we are gonna run it through the Spanish to English translator. If it has weird looking pictograms, then it HAS to be Chinese so we run that through the Chinese to English translator. Finally, if it looks like something from the Cold War days then we are gonna run it through the Russian to English translator. Anything else is just way too advanced for our simple minds to grasp.

Just for your viewing picture a few fun images of products with funny English translations:

In the interests of bringing you the absolute best in reporting from across the globe by way of free internet translation here are a few fun links to my 50 first dates series.

1)  From Second Russia, which was pretty much directly ganked from New World Notes, but is much funnier as a translation:

“After several months of rest from SL-блоггинга, children from command Are We Not Men? Have returned with epic work – the guidebook on 50 locations for those who wishes to amaze the second половинку on the first appointment.

It обезоруживающе romantic places (each description is supplied by the SLURL-reference): art museums for интелектуалов, magnificent heavenly spots, huge ballrooms and many other things. Sites with 1 on 10, sites with 11 on 20. It is supposed, that on the second appointment the party stark naked in whipped cream and role games with prison subjects will follow.”

2) From PI en Second Life

“Of the blog New World Note a comment arrives us that gives me muchisimas ideas.  It is a matter of a reference on the entrance that in the titled blog …till we not men? the better places for a first appointment offer us.  Really the places are diverse and they go since a cruiser (SS Galaxy) to museums (The Second Louvre).  There is for all the inclinations… and for a first, second one or any appointment they are fantastic.Asi that if they want “to court” to someone or simply they want to expose them to the diversity of SL this is the list…that enjoy.”

3) Or how about a guy who I guess intends to try them all out for himself and then see if they *really* are worth a crap, on the blog Techno Lives…  lol.

Where Begin an appointment in Second Life

For the ones that they are interested in seeking couple inside second life and they do not know where to seek, aqui I will show some places that, according to the blog of Tilling We Not Men, they are very good to begin a relation, to leave to stroll, or to enjoy a moment romantico besides be entertained.

Gardens of Bliss Balloon Ride

Him bearing a grudge this place, a visit can be done guided and to walk through a globe aereostatico, something more romantico cannot be asked, if they go alone they will entertain, and if they go in compañia of someone a lot better still.  The place is a full wild fauna of arboles plants, and a lot of interactiveness, ideal for the lovers of the nature.

Path Cats

Path Cats is another very good place, above all if one wants to dance, is able alli one to find a dancing partner and to begin to enjoy the musica and good compañia, is frequented for people of every place and tambien people of Spanish speech, itself them bearing a grudge.

Avilion Ball Room

This place is more romantic, the love songs, the sound is spectacular, besides is visited for Spanish people, the musica is very romantica, ideal to know people, and to begin good relations, of truthful Them bearing a grudge to personal holder the to visit it.

For my these they are the 3 better places than mentions the blog, to begin to know people.  The blog mesiona many more places than tambien turn out to be interesting, but before giving a comment on them I will visit them personally.”

Please keep the foreign links coming, and be sure to link back to the blog, so I can enjoy tracking back and translating.   I hope you enjoyed em as much as I did.

 
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