Why this blog? Why now?

There is an assault taking place on good old fashioned masculinity and machismo. The powers that be are trying to sell you on what being a man in SL is all about. They want you to believe that the ultimate in masculinity is ….

drumroll please…

 

Just a lil farther down…

 

a French woman. (Yeah you read that right!)

What is with all these pussies trying to tell us that being a guy is all about having smooth skin and well defined abs. These airbrushed princesses are wearing suits and smoking cigarettes in some vain attempt to hide their X-chromosomes in male clothes and an oral fixation?? Any of the “guys” featured could easily body double in an herbal essences commercial. As if the pictures aren’t girly enough, or the editorial staff feminine enough (literally many are women), they are picking french words to title their projects?

For fuck’s sake, enough is enough!! Let’s put the Y back in guy. Whatever happened to the American frontiersman, the rough and rugged man who would chop down the tree to build the house, kill food for dinner, and then still have enough energy left to crank out 13 kids? Remember the days when guys weren’t supposed to smell better than their women, or offer them advice on how to accessorize.

Who the hell wants to aspire to eat smelly cheese, look down on American movies, and speak with a nasally drone? Even Pepe Le Peu never got laid, despite all his best attempts. We have to band together and stop this ludicrous movement from gaining any footholds in SLsociety.

This blog is for you if:

  • You have ever owned a Jeep Wrangler
  • You think Yiffy is a brand of Peanut Butter
  • You don’t change your skin to match your outfit
  • You blow shit up, just cuz you can
  • You’re not prettier than your girlfriend
  • The only reason you speak french is to try to bag the hot French foreign exchange student
  • You HAVE gotten laid by a woman, or at least are aspiring hard to
  • You know your way around Home Depot like your own garage
  • You can name at least 3 NASCAR drivers along with their sponsor, make, and team

Otherwise, feel free to dress up like Malibu Ken, get your body waxed, and enjoy reading those other blogs. If you wanna be a MAN, then hang around, and enjoy the ride.

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~ by hawksrock on January 2, 2008.

38 Responses to “Why this blog? Why now?”

  1. “Let’s put the Y back in guy.” I predict that will make the top 10 best lines of the year for 2008. Maybe that’s the tag line instead of the also-funny-yet-somewhat-cryptic “That was rhetorical, ass.”

    How about: Putting the Y back in guy.

  2. All that free wheeling, vaguely directed, testosterone driven angst is pretty hot though, I must admit…

  3. All in favour, say Y.

    Yes!

    New tagline adopted.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I got 13 kids to crank out. w00t! there it is.

  4. w00t!!! Now it’s time for the MEAN GUYS to shine!!!

  5. Okay, it did not take very long for one of the MGs who is not JB to ferret this blog out. I smell fear.

  6. I answered yes to 3, 4 and 7. Am I a man now?

    (Oh and YAY and stuff for teh new blogness with many happy balloons and smarties for you lot *grins*)

  7. Oh and it’s not fear, it’s Laylah’s burning arse flesh after we all took it in turns spanking her

  8. Mean Guys? More like Scary Guys! So now that we’re all tough, we no love The Smiths, then?

  9. Are you confused, Garrett? Did we say mean guys? No. Did Hawks renounce any element of his music taste in that post? No. Did either Wrath or I mention The Smiths or our love/lack of love for them? No. Are you saying that by standing up for manhood we cannot love The Smiths? If so, I think maybe you are confused. And why do we seem scary to you?

  10. I am sure at some point we will impart our musical influences so it will be clear where we stand, and that others may follow.

    But hey, while we may talk hard, doesn’t mean we should automatically be labeled “Mean Guys”, or “Scary Guys”, or “Guys With A Bigger ______” (although that last one is probably technically true…).

    By the way, Kitty, you’ll be happy to know (or maybe in this case, that’s we’ll be happy to know) that simply meeting any of those conditions listed in that post above does not make you a man. You may go back to being a woman now, please and thank you.

  11. @Kitty: and keep reading, of course.

  12. Did someone use my name in vain? How dare YEW! 😀 I think we caught scent of the MAN-fear… hence finding the blAWG!

  13. O.o it is on

  14. ALSO

    STOP MODERATING COMMENTS YOU PUSSIES

  15. I think the comment moderation was left on by default to prevent spam – – turns out, real mean don’t need to spend all day sorting through ads for natural supplements to grow a larger pen1s or unproven herbal stimulants to stop us from going flacc1d too soon.

    Our personal studies have shown that the mere action of seeing a nekkid chick serves the same purpose.

    Although… one time, there was this one newbie chick, over at Orientation Island, without any clothes…*shudder*, yeah, maybe the comment moderation policy needs reviewed.

  16. oh boy oh boy, jolly jolly good!

  17. I hate choosing sides…

    For the record:

    1. Ever owned a Jeep Wrangler?
    No, but I have a helicopter…

    2. Think Yiffy is a brand of Peanut Butter?
    I had to ask Moody Morrisey…

    3. Change your skin to match your outfit?
    Don’t even wear a skin, you pansies.

    4. Blow shit up, just cuz you can?
    Naturellement. Oops.

    5. Prettier than your girlfriend?
    http://uk.geocities.com/frege@btinternet.com/cantor/Eximport.htm

    6. Only reason you speak french is to try to bag the hot French foreign exchange student?
    You trying to get Bill O’Reilly to join up?

    7. Gotten laid by a woman, or at least are aspiring hard to?
    I’m glad to see that adolescents are not excluded from membership.

    8. Know your way around Home Depot like your own garage?
    How much are they paying you?

    9. Can name at least 3 NASCAR drivers along with their sponsor, make, and team?
    Would you accept three pre-Raphaelites? Darn.

    I didn’t just create a meme, did I?

    Best of luck with the new venture, boys!

  18. “I think the comment moderation was left on by default to prevent spam…”

    And, since when are such macho he-men afraid of a little canned meat product?

  19. This is gonna be soooo good…grins…:P

  20. not a guy in which to put a Y .. O.o .. jus putting the Y in voyeur — for now! 😛

  21. “And, since when are such macho he-men afraid of a little canned meat product?”

    Oh, I am sorry if you mistook us for the kind of guys who prefer to dine on little canned meat products.

    For those readers with lower testosterone levels, we will try to be more clear about such things in the future. Thank you. 😉

  22. http://www.englishteastore.com/cak004.html

  23. This looks as though it might be fun!

    So why isn’t there an RSS subscribe link for the blog? You only seem to have one for the comments. Are you shy?

  24. @Esteban’s link: That is just wrong.

    @naughty: Go to the main page and click on the RSS icon on the right-hand side of the URL address window. You should be able to subscribe to the entire blog and not just the comments for a particular post. But I’ll tweak the design a little and put a big RSS button somewhere to make it easy. (Done.)

    A subscriber after one post? Who’dathunk?

  25. Hee hee hee… fresh meat, lol

  26. Hey I like to like stab my Spam with a fork, pull it out of the can, dip in the mustard jar, chow it down, then hide it all when the Wife walks into the kitchen. That makes me a Man, right? RIGHT?

  27. I think a wise man once said: “No man should feel the need to hide his meat from the wife.” Pretty sure it relates to this topic, as well.

  28. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies.. why are you getting all excited about this blog? Take a look at the individual blogging track records here. Wrath blogs on an average of once a month whether he needs to or not, Hawks blogs when jelly pokes him and Alex… other than the ads for Clockworks… *shrugs* Remember girls, men are just little boys in big bodies, and like little boys, they get bored easy.

    (ohhhh.. I’m in big dodo now)

    *grins* ok, seriously, great start guys… now prove me wrong.
    /me sits back with a bucket of popcorn and watches the sparks fly.

  29. This post reminded me of the Burger King ad “I am Man” LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGLHlvb8skQ

    sheesh another blawg to add to my daily reads…you guise are so cute!

  30. Okay, that’s fair, dinee – but it’s only because I am always too busy out doing macho stuff to sit down and maintain a daily blog!Yep.

    Turns out blogging about guy stuff is actually handled better as a team sport – and you’re about to get served, w00t! (I have no idea what that means.)

    You know what our mentality is like once we’ve successfully completed our male-bonding courses – we’re in it to win it, baby! (Again, not a clue.)

    Maybe in the past Hawks only blogged when Jelly poked him, but now, he’s free to blog whenever he pokes Jelly. As it should be.

    And Myg has now felt the need to go answer the Mean Girls® call, leaving Alex with plenty of free time to rage against the machine.

    Can’t deny we get bored easily, but I’m pretty sure between the three of us, we’ll constantly be finding new sparkly things to keep our attention. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to set down this firearm and head off to find some lil hottie wearing something sparkly.

    Wait, what was I talking about?

    (Oh! And welcome, Kaiti, to the blog!) 🙂

  31. I’m excited.

  32. @Kaiti – I think that’s the first time I laughed at a BK ad. I feel dirty.

  33. Alright menly men… *gives you “kudos” to opening your own blog* But I must admit it is pretty pitiful when a “man” must be defined by that list lol I dunno maybe its just me but I would rather not smell sweaty manhood omg ya think being smelly makes you manly? rofl I think not, it won’t get you laid either. Oh and as if it is a huge effort for males to “crank out” 13 kids? pfft! Try “popping out” 13 kids and then tell us women that you have energy left. Keep on living the cave man, mountain man, “American frontiersman” Dream guYs lol cuz those days are gone and your livin in a chicKs world :p Tis’ about time *winks* all this aside with love I’d just like ta say I <3’s you guYs rofl xoxo

    ( kk now go eat some verbal stew punks! )

  34. hehe Kala, too funny.

    Actually, we never said the list “defined a man”, even we are smarter than that. (No, it’s true, we are. Maybe barely, but still.) And not quite sure how you got all the way onto the subject of ‘sweaty manhood’, but we like where your thoughts are going. Except the part about not getting laid, of course.

  35. […] heard what Hawks had to say. And you’ve heard what Alex had to say. But we all know you’ve really been […]

  36. you can find the 3/4 inch plywood in Isle 3 left hand side in my local garage!!! nails in Isle 8 right side middle shelf! Oh and as far as a hammer?……..I GOT YOUR HAMMER RIIIIIGHT HERE!!! Any fool can call himself a man…. But its the courage of ones convictions that puts us to the test! Being a man has nothing to do with smelling good or bad. Nor does it have anything to do dressing in the right clothes. Being a man has everything to do with honor, morallity, integrity, knowin whats right and wrong, and being able to lay your head down at night knowing youve done the very best you can for those you care the most about! Being a man is defined by ones actions not there hygene! at least in my humble opinion. = ) now if youll excuse me imma hop a shower …cause I STINK!

  37. Hmm, are male nekos allowed to read this at all? Or are we considered to be too soft with all that fur? 😉

  38. mmmm fur…

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