Dangerous Curves Ahead

Alrighty then, enough with the preliminaries and introductions… we all had a shot at saying why we are here, but the real reason YOU are here is for quality content, which begins… NOW.

One of the danger spots in SL is the cover of anonymity that allows people to switch up genders and potentially wreak havoc on unsuspecting males. Voice is helping combat this issue, but there are still potential trouble spots where individuals are allowed to lurk and listen only, or there are some who might sink to the level of employing sophisticated voice modulation technologies. In this piece, I am going to be taking on men who play as women, along with the why they do it, and the level of risk they pose to us as real men.

First type: Girly Man getting in touch with his x-chromosome

Description: This grouping is best categorized as males who play as pretty-boy main’s with female alts. They go through life trying to make their dude as pretty as they can with the latest skins, hair, and fashion blogged outfit only to find that they just can’t quite get it right… something just doesn’t quite click, and then they see a Celestial Studios limited edition release, and think… wow! If only, I just… and bam a female alt is born. Overall I would categorize this group as female alts playing male’s in RL.

Threat level: High!! Unfortunately this alt is most likely prettier than your current girlfriend. They are embracing their inner feminine, and can come off as quite coy and flirtatious, because they are reveling in the freedom of finding their womanhood. There isn’t a fool proof way to avoid these, but the good news is that if you bag one, your guy friends will at least understand inwardly, because the truth is that they wanted to bag him/her as well, although outwardly they will deny it to the extreme should your girlfriend ever pull a Crying Game on you.

Second type: Curious George

Description: These are individuals who are more or less male, but they want to get a taste and feel (so to speak) of what a woman experiences. In other words, they are potential candidates for group one, but aren’t really in-touch enough with their inner pretty to quite pull it off.

Threat level: Medium. Really this group doesn’t pose much of a threat to real men, unless you are just coming off of a bad break-up, or are REALLY bored in your slife, because they do at least make a minimum effort at appearance and mannerism. These are difficult to spot from the name alone, due to their preference towards gender neutral names, such as jamie, sidney, or cameron (pay PARTICULAR attention if the first letter is lower case, because this has been scientifically proven to be more likely to be a gender bender.)

Third type: Desperate to see tits

Description: This is a group of males that have never seen tits before in RL or SL (other than internet porn) and they create a female alt to enable them to stare for long hours at their tits in awe. They are very easily identified because they run around with HUGE tits, broad faces, and misaligned hair. They will be wearing the trashiest silks they can find, working at some low rent club, and sporting a name that is a blend of overly sexualized and feminine characteristics. For instance: WetCum Princess, YouMakeMeWet Barbie, or BangMyAss Girlie.

Threat level: Low. This group will not pose any threat to real men, although they will most likely end up hooking up with their counterparts who are currently playing on their male AV. Desperation meets desperation and a sexual experience is born.

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~ by hawksrock on January 4, 2008.

50 Responses to “Dangerous Curves Ahead”

  1. Dear goddess, what a surprise. I thought I will read from real men here, but all I see in the first “quality content” post is another “who have I fucked last night” investigation. I thought that is reserved for underage immature rednecks and lesbimen that are afraid they will encounter another one in the running sexgen script.

    Would you be so kind to explain what threat levels are you talking about? And what “real men” are in this context? Sorry to bother, but these two words sounds just like oversized shoulders and gangsta look, i.e. something to avoid just as we avoid oversized breasts.

    For a bit more fun, I would like to see that science anbout lowercase names 🙂

  2. Ya know, just last night I bounced off yet another bra-killing avie at Phats and this time I came this close to saying “Hey buddy, turn the volume down on those will ya, my dog won’t shut up”.

  3. @dandellion: Hawks’ post had a certain amount of “tongue-in-cheek” to it that seems a bit lost on you from your response. But in the interest of world peace I’ll give you a (mostly) serious answer.

    First, this blog isn’t about your idea of real men, it’s a blog written by three men who are bound to have a fair amount of stereotypical male ideas writing about stuff guys like. If you expect to read what you want as a woman, you’re going to be disappointed.

    Of course we’re going to write about this. It’s a perfect topic for the blog. Men in Second Life are worried about this issue because we know men. We know just how dishonest guys can be in pursuit of sex. And as much as we are capable of shitty behavior, we are also human: We don’t like being lied to. We don’t really care about anyone’s sexual preferences or what anyone wants to explore — in fact, I encourage exploration — but we do care if you’re a liar.

    You know how women get pissed off when they go out with a guy only to find out after the date or, even worse, after sex that he’s married or has a girlfriend? I imagine that feeling of offense is similar to the one that happens when a guy discovers the fantasy woman behind the cute av he is cyberfucking is also a fantasy in the mind of the other man.

    Sure, there’s a certain amount of homophobia in the level of paranoia. But just because some men are paranoid homophobes doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Don’t make us post names, we’d rather not go that route.

  4. So as I was logging in to type my rebuttal, my wing man over there already nailed it… so yeah, what Alex said!

    The only thing I would add, is that it is not only a real fear, but a real issue that happens. I have a couple on my friends list right now that have been “duped”.

    Also, I am guessing you don’t own a Jeep wrangler.

  5. Oh dear, and you started out so well.

    Let’s face it. This is just another justification for male paranoia about women, isn’t it? It’s a continuation of the “omg she might be a female praying mantis in disguise” phobia (substitute your worst nightmares about women her) that affects men in RL. The fact that this sometimes happens just injects fuel into the engine as the man swiftly goes into reverse.

    And I thought this was going to be a blog by confident men 😦

  6. Oooooo,sex piano, classy;)

  7. @naughty: No, you’re wrong: It’s not always about women. It’s about male paranoia about men. And we are confident. Confident that guys want to talk about this issue, and we want male readers. You’re welcome to stick around and read and comment (we love the attention), but I’m betting it will be very irritating for you if you consistently have the wrong idea about who this blog is for and what it is about.

  8. Awesome start Hawks! Way to get the shit stirred right out of the gate – and I mean that in complete sincerity. What good is a blog if it doesn’t piss off a few readers while tackling the hot spots? If there was any doubt before as to the likelihood of your success, let it be laid to rest now. (Yes, I said laid.)

  9. Well…. I must admit…opening this page to see Hawks In a dress in the very first frame almost distubred me! But I Bit the bullet and began to read. (I know, I know) Joker read? well believe it or not YUP! I’ve met a Few guys on S/L that have posed as women for many different reasons. The most common of all I found is to make Lindens! As we all know “SEX SELLS”, &theseguys make a S/L living Posing as Dancers and Escorts in an attempt to feed off the shallow thoughts of the newbie male mind and there wallets!!! To this I say…..DURRR!! My advice in this matter is keep it in your pants till your sure you know what or who your dealing with!!! Just when you thought youve met a gurl thats willing to meet your every sexual desire (for a price) you come to find out …well shes hairier then you!!!! So males Beware!!!! The imposters are out there! Its your duty to do your best to identify and avoid such situations and embarrasment! Getting caught with your gland in another mans hand unaware can severly damage ones ego!! That being said…My best wishes to you guys on a great Idea! Tis about time the Men get the chance to Speak it real for a change!! Ill be tuning in regularly to See you boys in action and look fwd to the Manly Topics of the Future!

  10. lmao@Garret !!

    “another “who have I fucked last night” investigation. I thought that is reserved for underage immature rednecks and lesbimen”

    Really? Women are never curious about the person they fucked the night before? Did not know that. Well, now you know why we don’t write a Women’s Weekly blog.

    Maybe men are not always as callous as you think – what if the chance of a drunken hook-up has the possibility of a long-term relationship, it’s not okay to wonder if that really was a chick who rocked your world and you might want to see more frequently? Oh wait, no, maybe I did read that on a women’s blog…

    Yep, sorry, naughty, but like Alex said, if anything, this was more about men’s paranoia about men – not a thinly veiled reference to a female praying mantis. Heck, given the choice between sleeping with someone who just lied about their gender versus hooking up with a female predator, well, I know which one I’d sign up for every day.

    Wouldn’t it be ironic, though, if all the lower case names ended up being the ones helping prove our point?

    Orchid, you are right, that piano is classy, but from the looks of it, in order to play it, you apparently have to abide by the dress code. 😉

  11. Oks just wanted to mention that you are missing your body oil in your photo. kthx

  12. You forgot to mention the group that play girl av’s hoping to hook up with a chick for the lesbian experience. We females get duped the same way. I’ve met a few of the guys who play as girl/boys. Can you say disturbing??

  13. @ Gillian – yep, I think that explains his expression. 😉

    Holy crap, I think I have to nominate Joker‘s comment as Comment of the Year – and we’re only five days into it! hehe But seriously, the dude just makes sense.

    Someone get that man a beer!

    And Layne – we feel your pain, honestly. Although in those circumstances, as guys, we tend to be more lenient in our suspicion and just hope that it might actually turn out to really be girl on girl action, lol.

  14. Welcome aboard Joker! I feel the influx of testosterone already… 🙂

  15. Maybe you guys should stick to WoW?

  16. You’re making a number of faulty assumptions with that one lame question, BB.

    And as one liberal to another, if you really have anything to do with that URL in your sig, why don’t you do something useful with it? Why on earth is it blank? Or is it not optimized for firefox or safari? It’s a good one and considering the nature of the political landscape at this point in time, doing something constructive with bleedingheartliberal.com surely should take precedence over commenting on a blog that apparently irritates you.

  17. BB is right, I think I will stick to making the girls say WoW.

  18. Hehe. Great post.

    The picture really finishes it, reminds me of this trannie I met in real life. My friend was so piss drunk he actually begin flirting with what was OBVIOUSLY a guy, and an hour later he came running out of the toilets, screaming “OMG she’s got a weiner”

  19. Hopeful next article: Ways to suss out women who pass themselves off as men. Yes there’s something in ‘his’ pants, but every time he sees you he HAS to know where you got those shoes. And what’s with that walk AO?

    Damn.

    /shakes fists at the skies….”Not again!”

  20. Fourth type: Social user

    Description: These are individuals who male, but they want to take advantage of the social norms where a girl gets things slightly easier in virtual worlds.

    Threat level: Low. This group is about setting things up for their male character or, “to just do something different.”

  21. I’m sorry, I could not read this article. I was mesmerized by the ENORMOUS BOOBS encased in that tight dress!

  22. Can I just say, hooray for the last 4 comments, and I am glad to see there are a few more with a sense of humour out there … 🙂

  23. “Women are never curious about the person they fucked the night before?”
    Rarely. Any women with a bit of self-respect do the investigation before, not after going to bed with someone. That is a big difference.

    “You know how women get pissed off when they go out with a guy only to find out after the date or, even worse, after sex that he’s married or has a girlfriend? I imagine that feeling of offense is similar to the one that happens when a guy discovers the fantasy woman behind the cute av he is cyberfucking is also a fantasy in the mind of the other man.”
    I know. Yes, sometimes you don’t know about girlfriends and wives, but then you have to ask yourself, were you really interested that much? What is really interesting in this whole topic is where one draws a line? None of us believes that the human of the other person is looking, dressing, behaving… iRL as in SL. Chances are huge that that hot model-like 20-y-o blond you’ve been with last night is not model-like, nor 20-y-o, nor blond. Let’s suppose she is a woman, 48, short brown hair, not much of an appearance….Do you find that a lie?

    “it will be very irritating for you if you consistently have the wrong idea about who this blog is for and what it is about.”
    Does this mean that men write differently when they write for other men than for the mixed audience?

  24. “Chances are huge that that hot model-like 20-y-o blond you’ve been with last night is not model-like, nor 20-y-o, nor blond. Let’s suppose she is a woman, 48, short brown hair, not much of an appearance….Do you find that a lie?”

    Nope. Misrepresentation of appearances are vastly different than a complete gender reassignment in that example you provided. I am assuming you are referring to SL with that example, correct? (Otherwise, I guess in RL that’s what beer goggles are for.)

    Does this mean that men write differently when they write for other men than for the mixed audience?

    Well, we aren’t going to write any differently, for the simple reason we are gearing this blog to be by men, for men, so hopefully they will be able to understand us without too much effort. Though we appreciate comments, thoughts and discussion from all, of course.

  25. @dandelion – I think there’s a misunderstanding here. Hawks takes the piss out of guys who willfully mislead others into sex by lying about their gender. I’d add that if you lie to someone to get them in bed and the truth makes them feel bad and abused in some way, you suck and it doesn’t matter what the lie is about.

  26. Interesting, Verrrrry Innnnteresting.
    Actually, I think there’s a couple more types. besides the:

    Type 4: Guy going for the hawt lesbian sex.

    I would also say there’s at least this additional type:

    Type 5: MTF Transgendered in RL, Female in SL:

    Description: “Born male, but transgendered in some way in RL. They may primarily use a female avatar, but may have a male alt for other purposes (If they don’t want to be hit on while scripting or some such) Sometimes open about their status. Sometimes not interested in romance in SL, they often have other interests that occupy their time. Appearance: Type 5 av appearance varies greatly and sometimes by the hour. Sometimes very stylish and haute couture. sometimes girl next door, or if they strip/dance they will dress for the job but may have a secondary appearance when not working.

    Threat Level: Varies. They might be interested in men, or women. They might also wat to experience what they feel they can’t in RL, a relatiohship where they are treated as a woman, or not. Almost too diverse to quantify.

    Example: CronoCloud Creeggan (attracted to women, not interested in SL romance, open about status, no threat)

  27. Myg, I know what Wrath was about when he started this post…. but touching the points around the nerve shows us much more things that can be interesting. And measuring the level of paranoia is always interesting. I mean, we all know that humans and avatars are not the same, and we all know that the differences varies significantly from case to case. Why some differences are not considered bad as others? Why don’t we check what interests us before we jump to the poseballs? What do we need to trust the other? Life in virtual environment is interesting and full of thrill, isn’t it? 🙂

  28. Well, we aren’t going to write any differently, for the simple reason we are gearing this blog to be by men, for men, so hopefully they will be able to understand us without too much effort

    You want men to _understand_?! Oh, now that’s at tricky one! 😉

    Anyway, guys, blokes, real men, whatever… good luck with the blog! Although I’m not a man – and neither is She who rules me – we are bound to drop in to read once in a while.

  29. funny stuff!

    There may be a rare subspecies 6: the male who’s creating an avatar for a female! I did this for my RL wife, so I have been walking around fashion and skin stores in a female shape. Obviously, I was not interested in SL romance on her behalf, so I tried to attract as little attention as possible 😉

  30. You want men to _understand_?! Oh, now that’s at tricky one!

    Lol 😉

  31. Hey, Vint, I said “hopefully”!! hehe If we really wanted all men to be able to understand it, we’d just post nothing but pictures. 😉 Ooh, hey, that’s not a bad idea…

  32. So there is a set of “voice rules” now? As a female av, I must be prepared to svitch on voice to prove myself. Well well, and when should I do that? After the ASL – questions or before, so I don’t waste your time in your hunt for the next prey?

  33. Marianne, this is liberal society so you have to prove yourself only by voice. In King of the Worldthey insist on web-cams.

  34. Interesting point. I know you’re probably talking about people who lie when directly asked – but I’m gonna go off anyways.

    To me, gender in RL in SL doesn’t matter..but I’m pretty different I guess. And well…the suggestion that playing a female as a male is inherently deceptive is kind of..egh. I know this is sorta tongue-in-cheek but at the same time it is iffy.

    In my opinion, its only deception if theres a direct lie involved to a person who asks. I do not believe theres any lie involved in playing a female in SL…who says you cant? Theres no fucking rules for that! But if someone expects RL to equal SL, that’s their take on it. When it comes to intimacy, the cross-gendered person answers the question false, then THAT is a lie and between the two person in intimate contact. But nothing before that..because its simply not implicit that you should play the so-called ‘right gender’ in SL.

  35. @Xax – good point, but I think everyone here blows past the fact that Hawks is actually talking about biological men who play women and then hook up with heterosexual men in SL and are dishonest with them. So it’s about how we treat each other, see, not bout whether we play our RL anatomy in SL.

    I think we all should cross gender in SL, at least sometimes – it’s a good thing to do. But we shouldn’t fuck with each other, whether we’re crossing gender or not.

    Yeah I’m sorry guys, I can’t shut up. I’m in a zone here…

  36. I should have also mentioned that this is also an issue among RL transfolk. There’s plenty of discussion of when/if/how a stealth transwoman should tell her het identfiied boyfriend/fiancee/etc.
    This may piss off guys, but there are transwomen who believe in NOT telling, because when they do tell early on, the relationship ends, often badly. So they believe that to have any chance of having a “normal” relationship at all they shouldn’t disclose.

    But I can’t let guys off the hook because, putting it bluntly, most guys are subconscious homophobes. That’s not saying they’re all the kind of people who’d beat up a gay couple for holding hands, but that their homophobia is rather more internal and actually somewhat derived from misogyny. It goes something like this:

    1. guys are told they shouldn’t be like women. that being like a woman is bad, and one of the worst things they can be. A la the gym teachers telling their boys: “You play like girls/sissies.”

    2. Gays, because they are “takers” are like women. Notwithstanding the stereotype’s of “swishy” gay men.

    3. Therefore being gay is like being a woman, and bad.

  37. @Crono: Agreed. And I don’t think anyone should be “let off the hook.” More important than establishing some kind of purity of rightness in any viewpoint or argument is that people think and talk about these issues. Second Life provides an incredibly good forum for both expressing identity (gender included) and discussion of possibility, “reality,” and oppression. Certainly a better understanding can come out of it all.

    I’m not sure it was Hawks’ intention to start an avalanche of discussion on the world of gender issues, but then, given the blog’s title and focus on “guys not girls” stuff, it’s unavoidable to an extent, and I, for one, welcome it. Thanks for your views (and Xax!), they’ve raised the level of discourse considerably.

  38. My intention is honestly as follows:

    1) Tackle a topic that will be interesting to our readership (target audience = male)
    2) Provide a strong position on the topic
    3) Engage the readership into taking action and voicing their opinion via comments
    4) Sit back, eat popcorn, scratch myself, and watch how it plays out

    I am not a homophobe (by way of the classic argument that I have some great gay guy friends), but I have been conditioned to be very weirded out by the concept of somebody duping me into thinking they were the opposite gender, and then doing something sexual, even just a kiss in a virtual environment.

    I am all for the discussion forum going in whatever way the readers are impacted by my write-up.

  39. May I add another type to that list?
    The one that plays a female and at some point tells you he is a guy in RL, considering you a good friend and at the same time calling himself the “best friend” of your SL girlfriend. Secretly, he is actually in love with her and steals her away from you in the end … hmm, guess that only fits for one single guy …

    Anyways, despite all the discussion, I really like this post and I have to admit that I DO have female skins and shapes in my inv, but I use them for fun only (besides that, my name gives me away anyways 😉

  40. Just read this (I’m a bit slow). All I want to say is…bah! You’re easily scared! Are you not men? 😉 (GREAT post title, though!)

  41. […] Dangerous Curves Ahead Are we not men? Thought this might help here There was also a tutorial somewhere in the SLogosphere like a year ago that mentioned all the little details that men playing women usually forget, but I don’t remember where that was placed. __________________ I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it […]

  42. […] Posted by Daman Dangerous Curves Ahead Are we not men? Thought this might help here There was also a tutorial somewhere in the SLogosphere like a year […]

  43. (here via a link in the SLU forums, following a thread on a very similar topic).

    In my opinion the trouble with SL sex is because there are two types of people. Group A says it doesn’t matter what a person’s RL gender is, they accept the avatar at face value. Group B says that it’s essential that SL gender matches with RL gender. Problems arise when two people in a relationship belong to different groups.

    As for myself I don’t particularly care. I’m bisexual anyway, but I can understand how someone who’s straight would be weirded out by finding that the hot babe he just shagged is really Dave the Trucker from Walsall. I’m also one of those weird transgendered people that Cronoclaw mentioned (although in my case I’m the other way round – female to male). I’m pretty open about it but that makes me fairly unusual. But it does give me a fairly unique perspective, in that I realise gender isn’t always the two-sided coin we assume it to be. I put myself pretty firmly in the group which takes another’s avatar at face value. I neither ask nor care whether they are what they claim to be or not.

    What I don’t think is okay, is anyone deliberately lying or being misleading about themselves for their own benefit, in order to get involved with someone who would not normally be interested. It doesn’t have to be about gender – telling people you’re single when you’re really married is another major one.

  44. Also to add… what I don’t get is why a heterosexual man would want to dress up as a girl and pixel-bump with another guy at all. Why’s he doing that and not chasing after the lesbians? It suggests to me that he’s not as hetero as he thinks he is.

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