Meeting people is easy

Tips for the average frustrated chumps of Second Life


Welcome to the start of another regular feature at AWNM. You’ve read Hawks’ series on Landing Your Dream Girl. Many of you are putting his tips to good use. (God, we love all the reader mail we get at awnm dot blog at gmail dot com. Keep ’em coming. Maybe we’ll start publishing some of your better missives.) But others of you aren’t quite ready to land the dream girl. In fact, you haven’t even had the opportunity to date the nightmare.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll tell you how to turn yourself into the man women will pay attention to, and then we’ll give you some ideas on how to line up dates and close the deal. It begins with an attitude adjustment.

Rule #1: It’s not them, it’s you.

This may seem hard to swallow, but it’s the most important factor in the whole equation — everything flows from it. It’s easier to think women are a sociological Enigma Machine than to deal with the fact that your insecurities erect an impenetrable wall perfectly designed to separate you from them. Meanwhile, you dump L$ into escort services and moan that if only someone could get to know the “real” you they would like you.

Ever see some unattractive guy with some hawt model? (Even in SL, n00bs can get the girl; see Tymmerie Thorn’s comment in Wrath’s last post or Hawks’ photo evidence.) It’s not because she’s got a fetish for short, bald guys with hairy backs. And it’s not necessarily even because he’s shitting L$. It’s because he’s convinced her he’s the shiznit, the alpha male. He makes her laugh. He dazzles her. He pays attention to her but doesn’t come off like he’s desperate. You can learn how to do this.

Realizing that it is you, not them, is actually a position of power. You can do something about you. You can remember Mariners’ stats back to ’77. You can build a gaming system from the power-supply and fan on up. You can solve this problem. As soon as you can see it this way, it becomes a man’s game. Your game.

Next time: Appearance mode.


~ by Alex on January 18, 2008.

16 Responses to “Meeting people is easy”

  1. *applauds* It so is *YOU*. Haha! No really, very well written, wasn’t long at all & kept my attention. Even though it was not intended for me… Yay you!

  2. He makes her laugh

    This is essential. Some men know this and others lead a lonely life of sexual frustration.

    And just talking is important. It’s amazing how man men don’t realise this. But remember, as regards the content of the chat. I don’t want to hear how wonderful you are. I want to hear how wonderful I am. Convince a girl you think she’s wonderful and you’re more than half-way home. Convince a girl she’s wonderful and make her laugh, and you’re almost there.

  3. Everything NG said, I agree with. 🙂 I’m generous with the compliments too, so it’s only right.

  4. LOL…it is true…he was still “Boy Next Door” with orange skin and yellow system hair. But he made me laugh, charmed me without being pushy or arrogant, and made me feel incredibly special. He was so easy to talk to and quietly confident. Most importantly – he was genuine. I fell for him before he upgraded his skin or hair or even *gasp* invested in a good penis. Maybe I’ll have him comment here – and share some tips. 😉

  5. Heh, so much for a men’s blog! All these replies are from gals!!

  6. @Caterin: I know, right? We’re not complaining.

  7. I think it’s because guys are more action than words – so all the male readers are probably out there right now implementing all the new tools we’ve given them for this brave new world.

    All the while not knowing that all the hawt chicks are actually here, responding to the blog. Sweeet. 😉

  8. We don’t post too much unless there’s something to add or to disagree with.

    As a guy you don’t just give compliments to other guys. That could be interpreted the wrong way if it happens too often. After all, each of us know what we want when we compliment women.

  9. daman do you really think men don’t compliment women without an ulterior motive? that is cynical and sad to me, i guess.

    if a man says “hey you look great today” i don’t take it to mean he wants to explore my pixel parts. i have been known to miss the obvious so it would not surprise me if i am being dense here. but sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, no?

  10. I know I should have added a smiley. :p

  11. You had me worried for a bit there, Daman, because you’ve said some nice things to me. LOL

  12. I find it quite interesting that the “phenomenon” of beautiful girls with not-so-good looking guys is common in SL, too, as that is something I have often noticed in RL already. And it’s absolutely impossible that ALL of these guys just have enough MONEY, isn’t it? So I’m sure there are some good ones out there in RL, too, and I guess this series might give some hints that are valid for both “lives”. Very well written, Alex!

  13. And folks, just to be the first to say it: Real men have an option to be notified of follow-up comments on their blog … 😉

  14. Hey Tim – good point. I’ll see if I can get a comments feed or email feature incorporated here. You might also want to look at co.mments as a way to keep track of all your blog comments. It’s not perfect, but it does help.

  15. If you’re a registered WordPress user you also get a dashboard with a My Comments tab. That shows the comments you made on every WordPress blog.

    And there IS a comments feed already for this blog. WordPress makes that automatically 😉 I know because I’m subscribed to it.

    The link to the comments feed is:

  16. @Alex: co.mments is what I’m using for your blog at the moment, but as you said it’s not perfect and I’d prefer a dedicated email notification per post. Subscribing to the comments feed is an option, but as that gives me all comments, I might still miss the ones answering to the post I commented on.
    BTW, Vint has this notification option on her WordPress blog, so maybe she could give you a hint?

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