Life by Xcite!

Do you ever wake up and feel like your life is totally scripted, and you are just the actor hired to play the role? I do on occasion. I have decided that rather than try to fight it, I am going to hire better writers. Who more fitting than the wonderful Xcite! staff to script my life?

Today’s installment: Hawk’s doing the dishes

Hawksrock looks with disgust at the pile of dishes before him.

Hawksrock slowly pours hot water into the sink, seductively squirting soap into the basin.

Hawksrock playfully blows the soap bubbles across the room.

Hawksrock dips his finger and then his hand into the water, feeling the warmth and wetness as his fingers start to tingle.

Hawksrock lifts a plate out of the water, rubbing it lightly with a dishrag.

Dirrty plate whispers: I am starting to get clean.

Hawksrock rubs the plate with more force, gently applying his fingernails to scratch at the edges.

Dirrty plate whispers: I am beginning to feel very clean, and I think I like it.

Hawksrock rubs the plate in a circular motion slowly at first and then faster.

Dirrty plate whispers: I am feeling clean again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

Hawksrock dries the plate off, teasing the wetness off the clean plate.

Dirrty plate whispers: Use me now, I want to be dirrty again.

Hawksrock places the plate to the side, and grabs the next hot dish.


~ by hawksrock on January 20, 2008.

29 Responses to “Life by Xcite!”

  1. This? Is a classic. Brilliant. I LMAO. Thank you!

  2. This VERY funny! A side effect of Seamonkey Throwing Coconuts? 🙂

  3. Awww, thanks Tymmerie! I dunno quite what to say to that, other than your welcome… lol. Just keep reading and bring ALL your friends… 🙂

  4. @ Serendipity, I am working on perfecting Seamonkey Throwing Coconuts, therefore I have to keep practicing over and over and over til I get it right. 😉

  5. […] the snarky new SL blog “Are we not men?” Hawk ponders Life by Xcite! Do you ever wake up and feel like your life is totally scripted, and you are just the actor hired […]

  6. OMG. This one’s just … lol.

  7. *waits for the modules “doing the laundry” and “putting the garbage outside”*

  8. Peluda starts grinning and gradually laughs his ass off in a circular motion

  9. Thanks for the comments and link backs… keep em coming! 🙂

    I am getting to work on the “doing the laundry” and “putting the garbage outside” version, right away… lol.

  10. Haaaa! lmao!

  11. Now, see, who has time for spoons, when there’s dirrty dishes to be taken care of. 😉

    Nicely done, Hawks.

  12. Is it wrong that I’m strangely turned on?

  13. @Alicia nawww, that is just that SL virgin thing. If the wind blew the right way you could end up virtually humping a street post. So be careful out there!


  15. See if I tell you guys anything anymore. LOL

  16. Alicia – as turned on as you are, you still cannot fully appreciate the article unless you have had the experience of yanking off your Xcite parts and those of your partner’s and throwing them across the sim because they would not stop their incessant chatter. Just sayin’.

  17. OMG.

    *takes a stroll over to Xcite just to um…browse.*

  18. i hear you can buy flash cards on slexchange if you need them instead.

  19. hooo!!!!

    Not only is it hawt… but it’s got a man DOING HOUSEWORK!

    I think I need a cigarette now. 😉

  20. Guen I thought that was the hottest part was a man doing dishes. lol Is there something wrong with me? =P

  21. Fun Fact#1—If you go into the notecard for your xcite parts, you can customize the text. 🙂

  22. @zippora and @layne:
    For those of you wanting more “porn for women” similar to this, I posted some over at my weblog. I bet some of you have seen it, but just in case… (It is SFW).

  23. Fantastic, Hawks! This is hilarious! More, More, More!!

  24. Zippora, Guen, Layne, Rosie – This reminded me of the “Porn for Women” book, I posted a few pictures from it on my blog.

  25. @orchid – you can? ohhh the possibilities…

  26. […] importantly, who could kick more ass.  Hawks couldn’t make it, something about doing some dirrty dishes or whatever, but Alex was game.  Not sure that was such a good idea, […]

  27. YOu’re having an unfair amount of fun with this. I’m jealous, and I think I need a cold shower now, rawr.

  28. Definitely hilarious. Can’t wait to see the next installment of “Life by XCite!” May I suggest a vaccuuming episode as well? 😀

  29. […] In case you missed the first installment of Life by Xcite!  You can find where Hawks does the dirrty dishes here. […]

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