Ditch the Glitch

Alright, so this is not a fashion blog, and I am most DEFINITELY not a fashion blogger, but there is one topic and one topic only of which I am an expert – the sexiness of short skirts on the female form. There is something very sensual/sexy/hot/[insert lustful adjective here] about women in short skirts. It is a perfect combination of the curve of her thighs, the sway of the fabric as she walks, the little hint of cheek that sometimes shows when things shift just the right way, the mystique of what lies beneath the skirt, and and and… so many more things!

I am not a perv who is running around SL trying to cam up women’s skirts. Or a Japanese businessmen out paying hundreds of dollars for school girl knickers. In fact, I find up skirt pornography to be boring. But the fact remains that a short skirt on a woman in the flesh is a major turn on [add a glock on her inner thigh, and I am in heaven…]

The problem is that there is an outright assault taking place on the world of short skirts, that we as men must combat at every turn! Someone, somewhere got the wild idea of turning skirts into shorts with ruffles. I didn’t know until just recently that this travesty of justice has a name… the glitch pant. I don’t know it for a fact, but I have to believe in my heart that some nun at some rectory somewhere invented the first ever glitch pant.

It is very possible that our guy readers out there still aren’t sure exactly what a glitch pant is, so I have masterfully photoshopped in a picture to illustrate for you the difference in the three.

Although this pose is exaggerated to clearly show the difference, you can see that glitch pants are best described as shorts with a lamp shade wrapped around for dressing. They completely cover all the requisite “assets” such that you could still complete your church confirmation in them. The boy short option on the other hand allows for the wearer to select sexy underwear options that serve to compliment the hotness quotient of the ensemble, rather than throw a fire hose on it to put out the flames. There is a third option available which is the prim skirt, which relies heavily on the designers abilities to make look either sexy or covering depending on how they put it together. I am just showing it as a third option, since it is available, but literally it could take on any of a multitude of looks.

So of the three there is hands down no comparison, and really only ONE option, which is for our designer friends to stick with the boy short option, which keeps the hotness quotient up and the flexibility out there for the ladies to show us what they got! This concludes our public service announcement, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

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~ by hawksrock on February 5, 2008.

16 Responses to “Ditch the Glitch”

  1. I’m a HUGE fan of the glitch pants free skirts. I like to be able to wear my pretty panties with my skirts, thank you very much.

  2. I don’t agree with you (surprise, surprise :p), but I AM totally confused by what you’re showing as “prim” on Rosie. She looks like she’s wearing boy shorts and Jelly is wearing panties (a word I hate). They’re all wearing prim skirts, Mr.

  3. @ Alicia… Yay for that!

    @ Gillian… 1) just to clarify that isn’t Rosie it is one of Jell’s alts 2) Jell says it is a prim skirt from Naughty that is all prim, meaning the undergarments as well (it actually looks like a block if you are able to see it better) 3) I am not proclaiming to be a fashion blogger or get the terminology right but I want more of #2!!! woot!

  4. πŸ˜› – I have to give you a raspberry for totally not recognizing me in Reaction the other day, lol.

    I would prefer if glitch pants would look more like panties than like shorts or pants personally but with few exceptions I find this is not the case. My second choice is the little mini that is basically short shorts with a prim in the middle to create the illusion of a skirt clinging to one’s body.

    http://incrediblepixelgirl.blogspot.com

  5. Ahhhhh ok – I totally couldn’t see that :O

  6. Errrr, I totally saw you and recognized you and tried to chat you up and down, it just must have gotten lost in all the lag!! :p

    Seriously though, you have outed me for one of my really bad habits. I am horrible with names and placing people. I think this has only been exacerbated in SL since our Tiny Empires family has gotten so large (I think we are close to 400 people in it now.) So please don’t take it as a snub, to you are or anyone else out there who runs into me on the grid. I promise that next time I will fake it better that I remember you… :p

  7. I have to say this post was enlightening…

  8. And to think, I’ve always lived by the motto “Ditch the Bitch” when it comes to relationships, but now I see I might have to incorporate the Ditch the Glitch mentality, as well, when it comes to checking out the opposite sex. Unless that would severely limit my options… hmmm.

    Anyway, this all makes complete sense to me, thank you for that public service announcement, dude. Maybe we should make freebie t-shirts to hand out in front of retailers which carry this atrocity? This is an important issue and designers deserve to be made aware of it.

    Dude, seriously, I think we are saving lives here.

  9. Having followed your blog quietly for some time I am disappointed that a 4th option of going “bottomless” under the skirt was not provided, at least in the privacy of one’s home or vehicle.

  10. Cenedra, that is ALWAYS an option!! lol. I wouldn’t be putting Jell’s pixels up there though as a demonstration, cuz I am kinda protective of those. πŸ™‚

  11. I think the point of the glitch pant is to provide for the illusion of the skirt top and/or sides since the skirt itself is just a series of flexi prims arranged to encircle the hips or waist. Some skirt prims may seperate when moving, giving the appearance of gaps in the skirt. Other times they can disappear into the av body due to a pose (ex. my AO has a stance that causes my miniskirt prims to merge into my thigh so a glitch pant helps keep the illusion of the skirt laying against my thigh instead of disappearing into it.)

    That said, if the point of the glitch pant is to provide a fabric layer on the midriff/hips, and if it is modifiable (as many are) then it’s a simple matter of going into edit appearance mode and raising the level of the pant to something more appropriately…revealing. As an example, Tres Jolie features an orange mini-dress with a glitch pant that provides cover for the hips, yet still manages to flash a healthy amount of cheek.

    So worry not, dear Hawks. The glitch pant need not be thine enemy!

  12. Personally I’ve always hated glitch pants… I know they need to have something for the ‘belt’ and other none prim skirt things to play off of, but frankly I wear a mini when I want to feel sexy… And even making some of them short shorts isn’t a good option for some outfits… I have some skirts that beg to have nothing but a thong on under them and that just can’t happen because rather than invisifying the underside when they just need the top couple millimeters of the thing, they have these huge glitch pants that make me go ‘ewww!’

  13. One reason for glitch pants is the belt. If I don’t wear them, the skirt can look unfinished around my waist. That having been said, I also have no idea why they need to cover my cheeks Catholic schoolgirl style.

    In fact, lets face it, there are some pretty crap miniskirts out there in SL, and the problem is that a gurl only finds out that they’re crap after she’s bought them.

    But, Hawksrock, I’m glad you appreciate a good miniskirt with only a thong beneath. Although I don’t think I would have expected less from you. πŸ™‚

  14. The only thing I’ll comment is that glitchpants often provide cover when the skirt doesn’t perform 100%..which is often in sl. A lot of it is flexi-skirt moving, like previously stated..but theres also skirt not fitting on butt and leaving ass clipping through the fabric. Of course, simple adjustment fixes that but not everyones a builder..so a decent pair of glitchpants fixes that up pretty well.

  15. Um…. what they all said. πŸ˜‰

    I usually edit glitch pants to be higher so that more leg shows underneath. Don’t forget that there’s also the designers who put long glitch pants under gowns. Those I -hate- and generally raise them up to short/underwear length. You expect to see some leg under those things, right?

  16. I have to say that for me glitch pants are mandatory. I have an hourglass figure and even though I have a couple different skirt shapes sometimes my rear still shows. Also the skirt shape doesn’t change my hips so in some poses my hip shows through the skirt and the glitch skirt helps minimize that. I’mjust learning to mod skirts but I’m still running into issues with getting them to lay right on my hips and not be too big along my waist.

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