Stages of Development

Okay class… please open your textbooks to page 123 (because that seems to be the rage these days), and beginning with the fifth sentence we are going to study the evolution of a SL man.

Stage: Fresh off the boat

Characteristics: Default everything. Unattractive to anyone outside of this stage. Socially inept and believe they can friend anyone at any stage of development, and then spend every waking minute with them. Undeveloped sexual organs, but high desire to mate with anything that moves. Uncoordinated movements and flying patterns are erratic at best.

What He Thinks: I’m gonna get laid!!

What We Think: Avoid at all costs, or you will be stalked, IM’ed, and heckled at every turn in the road. Although there is some sort of sick pleasure we derive from watching them fly into walls and buildings like a moth drawn to a flame.

Stage: Freebie Finder

Characteristics: Some individuality begins to come through largely dependent on which part of the grid the subject frequents (ie it is just as likely that he will emerge as a furry, fairy, or dominatrix depending on the freebies within close vicinity). Can often be found walking/flying across the mainland sims on a random quest for adventure. There is some level of grouping that begins to occur at this stage, where you may find groups of two to four hanging together.ย  Simplistic sexual organs are attached once found in freebie boxes.

What He Thinks: I’m gonna get laid!! I look like da bomb!!

What We Think: This stage is the most often abused, as they tend to be inquisitive by nature and can often be found rummaging through your personal belongings and pose balls. It is quite socially acceptable to orbit, light on fire, electrocute, or just use them for random target practice.

Stage: Advanced Freebie Finder

Characteristics: Subject moves up to freebie inventory given away by somewhat more reputable designers/brands. As the individual begins to learn that the reference to them as “special” is not that complimentary, they feel the need to start to earn some Lindens (to pay for sex if nothing else). This leads to an unfortunate subculture of campers who look for easy ways to land a few lindens here and there. They develop a social network amongst other campers, and start to emerge on the club and gaming scene.

What He Thinks: I’m gonna get laid!! I look like da bomb!! I am cool!!

What We Think: At this stage, we begin to have to double check profiles and have that thirty second review to see if they are an alt of someone we know, or just random noobs. Limited social interaction at this point is acceptable, often pointing out better freebie options, or beginning to explain the inner workings of SL to prepare them for the leap to the next stage.

Stage: First Purchase

Characteristics: Subject makes the plunge and purchases some L’s (although they justify in their head as just this *one* time). This allows for a basic skin purchase, new hair, and some basic clothes. The individual begins to develop a sense of style, and not just be a product of the freebies that he found. He has both experienced friends and noob friends. He discovers blogs and learns what shops he likes to look at. He ditches the freebie ao, and actually seeks one out. He experiments with strip clubs, escort services, and begins looking for something more. A need to have a place of his own, leads the subject to purchase a small apartment or rent a one room loft.

What He Thinks: I’m gonna get laid!! I look like da bomb!! I am cool!! I am going to land me the hot chick that I have my eyes on!!

What We Think: At this point, it is acceptable to be seen in public with the subject outside of large public areas. You might even take one in under your wing and mentor them on how to progress to the next level. There is even some cross dating that happens as more experienced players fall for the personality of the individual, and are willing to overlook a few fashion faux pas (note the long boots showing through the jeans.)

Stage: Finished Goods

Characteristics: Subject realizes that to live the life he wants to lead, he has to set a budget to buy L’s each month. Nesting instincts set in, and he moves up from the one room loft to purchase some land and outfits an entire house. Advanced social networks are in place, and the individual often finds a job such as a DJ or host to supplement the Linden purchases. He experiments in building, scripting, machinima, gaming, and other hobbies to find a niche. He lands the hot chick, and starts several side projects often including a blog.

What He Thinks: I’m getting laid!! I look like da bomb!! I am cool!! I landed the hot chick!! I have to share this success with the world!!

What We Think: This individual is now welcomed to the top of the food chain. He is worthy of our respect, and has full access into our inner circle. The challenge moves from one of learning and developing his skills, to inventing new ways to keep his interest. He has deep lasting friendships that cross over from SL into RL based on people he has met.


~ by hawksrock on March 5, 2008.

18 Responses to “Stages of Development”

  1. Oh no… he is far far away from the top of the food chain. But with a bit of the wit, he can smuggle himself into various places. As with his predecessor, he can sell his personality.

  2. I confess I am at the First Purchase stage. Can you point me to a good store for men’s shape and skin?

  3. yummmm, I’ll take two of the finished goods, thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Immortal, if you want some help, IM me in world and I’ll help ya out. I love fixing people up. ๐Ÿ™‚

    This post was great, Hawks!

  5. Great post! ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m basically at stage 5, yet I no longer visit SL frequently due to how busy I am these days… (Exams, exams, and more exams! 10 a month! ๐Ÿ˜› ) So, I might be at stage 4.5 as my clothing’s a little out-of-date ‘^_^. Great “guide to noobs”, hehe ๐Ÿ™‚ .

    P.S.: I’m on the teen grid, if “Exams, exams and more exams!” didn’t tell you this first ๐Ÿ˜› .

  6. And that is why I recommend friends that want to check out SL to register through the L word instead of through the regular SL site. If they do that and grab one of the L Word avatars, at least they’ll look somewhere like a 3.5 already. ๐Ÿ˜›

    And if you know where and when to find the really great freebies, you can easily have a freebie av that looks like a stage 4 already.

  7. Very well laid (excuse the pun) out, Sir Hawks. Would love to the female interpretation *flings M&Ms at Jelly ‘n’ crew*. ;o)

  8. So where are all these stage fivers? Huh?

  9. Nice to read your autobiography, Hawk ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. a fireman’s outfit at stage 2???…looks at his mayan warrior outfit…i totally missed the boat, i want a redo!!!…great post hawks!!

  11. Okay peeps, time to get caught up…

    @Dandellion: Yeah I kinda skipped over that whole transgender phase..

    @Immortal: I will help you out with skins, because right now I don’t think there are any better men’s skins than the Minnu Model Skins for men found at: I am very anti-shape purchasing in SL because I wouldn’t want to go around looking like everybody else, and a shape is a key definer of your persona. Just find a quiet spot in the welcome area, get naked and work on those sliders and you will be fine!

    @Strawberry: Haha.. thanks! *blushes*

    @Alicia: Are you just the nicest helper out there or what? Don’t you have a store to be working on or something…

    @Smiley: Thanks for the shout out, and glad you are commenting on one of the more PG type posts… lol

    @All: Great advice, I think, cuz I really don’t know what the heck you are talking about… :p

    @Aly: Very well laid indeed… no complaints for today at all I gotta say! Those MG’s are always trying to rip off our ideas, so I say this would be yet another great one! Next thing ya know they will be converting over to WordPress and talking about stats… ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    @Caterin: I hear there are a few roaming the grid… you might try Clockworks in the Topgol sim on Tuesday’s from 6-8, and I will see who I can conjure up.

    @NG: Wow, was it THAT obvious.. lol.

  12. Oh my… Ride! Haha! Sorry still stuck in the arvo ya know *wink* What’s this: “Those MGโ€™s are always trying to rip off our ideas, so I say this would be yet another great one! Next thing ya know they will be converting over to WordPress and talking about statsโ€ฆ”? *Chokes* as if.

    I’m not sure about a fem post because I know I can redo a noob fresh off the boat in less than 2 hours. It’s a proven fact from my Mentor days. Women tend to know that we need L’s and refuse to be ugly for long. Seriously. :p

    Jinkies! Okay I lost my thoughts.

    Carry on…

  13. Thanks Hawks. Alicia, I will IM you in-world, thanks for your kindness.

  14. @ hawks:

    Try and register an alt through this site, then grab one of the newbie avatars they have available, and you’ll see what I mean. The only parts missing are the AO and the prim hair. But I prefer to go bald in SL anyway.

  15. Hawk, that phase comes later. But you don’t know what you are missing? :=)

  16. This was both informative and slightly scary since I have some “how to go from newbie to gorgeous” type tutorials in mind to put on my blog. Please do not read my mind. It’s very cluttered in there anyway!


    Great post and very enjoyable besides.

  17. Wowee, gotta get me some of those finished goods! Great post and great progression thru the stages – I swear I’ve been thru all of them – in fact I’m not so sure I’m finished myself.

  18. It’s great to watch a noob friend progress through those stages, especially if you have a hand in their transformation. I do think that women get through the stages faster, mostly because fashion and looking good is part of our psychological makeup. We want to look hawt or hawter than that bytch at the club and will move heaven and earth to accomplish it. For men in SL, eventually they realise if they want that hot non-newb chickie, he better step up and look the part! Very amusing post, cheers!

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